Kristen Wiig Does Not Want to Be Jumanji’d

On this week’s Saturday Night Live, Kristen Wiig played a woman meeting her boyfriend’s friends for the first time, and all is going well until they decided to break out a board game…a tale as old as time. When her boyfriend tells the table that she doesn’t play board games because they freak her out, Wiig’s character explains, “I’m not afraid of board games. I’m afraid of getting Jumanji’d.” Naturally, they all try to assure her that Jumanji is simply a movie and that she doesn’t have to worry about being Jumanji’d. “I know I’m not getting Jumanji’d, because I will not put myself in a position to be Jumanji’d.” Does it matter that the board game in question isn’t Jumanji at all but rather a train-themed game called Ticket to Ride? “A game doesn’t have to be Jumanji for that game to Jumanji me,” she explains. After a brief squabble at the table over which Jumanji they’re referring to (the superior, Bonnie Hunt film, of course), a new argument arises over what exactly being Jumanji’d means. Is she afraid of being Jumanji’d into the game, or Jumanji being Jumanji’d out of the game and into the real world? “Jumanji is a series of jungle emergencies,” she fires back, “That sir, is Jumanji, and we are not prepared for that. We have no medicines, we have no rope.” But since this is a game about trains, when the board game does ultimately Jumanji them, a train conductor (Will Forte) let’s Kristen Wiig’s character go, since she explicitly said she didn’t want to be Jumanji’d.