New lover has been sleeping around with other men too – but she denies it
DEAR DEIDRE: IT turns out that the woman I’ve been dating is having sex with other men, too.
I’m a man of 53 and I was widowed six years ago after my wife died from cancer.
I had been on my own ever since until meeting this new woman when she moved in opposite to me.
She is 48 and very bubbly and I was instantly attracted to her.
We started dating. Then I began to get suspicious as she’d tell me lies about where she’d been and who she’d been with.
She isn’t a good liar and she became angry if I questioned her.
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As much as I love her, I found out she has lots of male friends with benefits.
She won’t talk about it and keeps telling me I’m mad.
I’m hurt and don’t know what to do.
DEIDRE SAYS: This woman was wrong to deceive you. While there is nothing wrong with having friends-with-benefits arrangements, it is only fair that you both enter the relationship being straight with each other.
She obviously likes you but she’s been secretive about her other liaisons.
Perhaps she feels insecure and is lacking in self-esteem, which explains why she seeks attention from so many sources.
Let her know that casual relationships aren’t your style, and if these other guys mean more to her than your feelings, it would be best for you to end it with her.