I found disturbing pictures of my daughter on my son’s phone

DEAR DEIDRE: I FOUND disturbing pictures when I went through my 15-year-old son’s phone.

He has taken pictures of a girl aged around 12 who was bending forward on the edge of a swimming pool, before diving in.

He had zoomed in on her bottom.

I discovered he had also done something similar to his 17-year-old sister when we were on holiday – he took photos of her on the beach, zooming in on all parts of her body including her breasts, bottom and privates.

I am his 48-year-old dad.

I asked him why he did this but he couldn’t really answer.

He was in tears and very upset, but all I got back from him was that he didn’t know.

My wife and I brought him up to respect women.

Why has he done something so wrong?

Does he need help?

I cannot talk to anyone in the family about this.

I feel so ashamed.

My daughter knows about the pictures and I feel so sad for her knowing her brother did this.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Yes.

Your son needs help.

His reaction suggests he’s very confused but also, reassuringly, knows his actions were wrong.

Many young people are exposed to sexualised social media and desensitising porn very early, which could contribute to this behaviour.

Explain how worried you are about him and that taking, possessing or sharing sexualised images of any person under the age of 18 is a criminal offence.

It’s good you are talking, keep the dialogue going.

We need to be open with our children about healthy sexual relationships, otherwise they learn from pornographers.

Discuss the unreal way women are often depicted in films and reiterate that is not real life.

Talk in confidence to stopitnow.org.uk (0808 1000 900) who will understand the issues and be able to advise what help is available to your son.