Harriette Cole: I’m barely out of school and I’m hit with my parents’ money problems
DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 21-year-old woman, and I am feeling increasingly stressed and overwhelmed about my parents’ low savings.
Over the past few years, my mom and dad have been making it known to me and my siblings that they have very little savings and are unsure if they will ever be able to retire. This revelation has created a significant amount of anxiety and pressure for all of us.
My parents have always worked hard to provide for our family, but it seems that despite their efforts, they have not been able to save enough for their retirement.
My dad has been particularly vocal about their financial struggles, often expressing his concerns about the future. He has mentioned several times that he and my mom might have to rely on me and my two sisters for financial support as they grow older.
This has been a huge burden for us to bear, especially since my sisters and I are just starting our careers and are not in high-paying fields.
I am struggling to find a balance between being supportive and protecting my own mental and financial well-being. How can I communicate my feelings to my parents without making them feel worse about their situation?
— Parental Burden
DEAR PARENTAL BURDEN: Encourage your parents to talk to a financial planner to help them strategize for their future.
They need to assess what they will have and how far they can stretch it. Perhaps they need to downsize and move to a more affordable area or sell off some items of value that they own.
Unfortunately, more and more Americans are finding themselves unable to retire when they reach retirement age. This is a reality many will have to face. It may mean that your parents will have to continue working past their desired retirement time.
Of course you want to help your parents, but you should be direct with them, explaining that you are just starting out and have no resources. You are not in a position to support them today and do not know when you will be able to do so.
You need them to focus on forging their own path while they still can.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m in my final year of law school, and I also work part-time as a tutor in an agency.
I’ve been offered a significant promotion at my tutoring job, which would mean more hours and a higher pay rate. However, the promotion comes at a time when my coursework is particularly intense, with several major projects and exams coming up.
The additional income would be a huge help and could ease some financial pressures. On the other hand, I’m concerned that taking on the extra hours might impact my ability to perform well in my classes. There is a chance that if I accept the promotion, it would jeopardize my academic performance.
What strategies can I use to make my decision?
— In the Middle
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Given how much your company values you, they may be willing to work with you on the timing of accepting the promotion.
Explain to your boss that you appreciate, want and need the promotion, but you would like to delay it for a period of time so that you can get through your projects and exams.
Express your desire for the role and your intention to be responsible and effective at the job. Ask for a bit more time so that you can fulfill your obligations at school.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.