Stay Up All Night Even Though You're Exhausted? This May Be Why

Last night, I set my alarm to 6:30, finished the final pages of my book, and dragged my weary bones to bed at 9:30 in the evening. 

I’d been to the gym. I’d done a full day’s work. I’d travelled two hours there and back for an appointment and had a similar day planned today. 

So naturally, I only actually nodded off at 3 am. 

If that sounds like you, you’re not alone. Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, a Harvard physician specialising in stress, burnout, mental health and resilience, told HuffPost UK: “There are many reasons why your stress affects your sleep, and one of the most common is a phenomenon known as Revenge Bedtime Procrastination.”

What’s that when it’s at home?

The doctor explained that revenge bedtime procrastination (RBP) is a kind of counterproductive attempt to reclaim “me” time (where your attention and effort aren’t being demanded by employers, family members, or everyday tasks) at night.

“We know getting sleep can help manage stress and burnout, but when you’re stressed and burned out, restful sleep is one of the first things to go,” he shared. 

It’s a vicious cycle; you’re so stressed throughout the day that you can’t sleep at night, which leaves you more stressed the following day, which prevents you from sleeping well the next night. 

Dr Nerurkar says you might have RBP if you notice the following signs: 

• Having consistent late nights: Even though you know you should go to bed earlier, you find yourself staying up late almost every night.

• Feeling tired but resisting sleep: You might be exhausted, but you’re unwilling to go to bed because you want to enjoy some “me time.”

• Engaging in low-value activities: You might find yourself scrolling through social media, watching mindless TV, or playing video games for hours on end.

• Feeling guilty or regretful in the morning: You might wake up feeling tired and regretting your late-night choices.

Sounds like me. So what can I do about it?

As someone who’s been trapped in this cycle for years, I was excited to hear what Dr Nerurkar thought could help break it. 

Thankfully, he shared “a few techniques you can use to help you overcome revenge bedtime procrastination.”

In the daytime, these are: 

• Having a “brain break.” Carve out 2-5 minutes, a few times a day, time for a little mental space to take short breaks from stressors and your tasks during the day.
  
  According to science, even ten seconds can make a difference. But they are a biological necessity to help strengthen your attention, cognition, and memory.

• Prioritise self-care during the day. Make time for activities you enjoy throughout the day, so you’re less likely to feel the need to stay up late to unwind.

At night, meanwhile, the doctor advises us to:

• Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends.

• Engage in calming activities like reading, taking a warm bath, or practising meditation before bed.   

• Decrease reliance on devices. With your alarm set, brush your teeth, turn down the lights and adhere to some digital boundaries. Create an enjoyable substitute for your scrolling in bed. Like with an audiobook, some music, or a soundscape!

• Ensure your bedroom is dark, quiet, and cool.

I reckon that “brain break” is going straight into my routine today...

Calm has worked with Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, Harvard physician specialising in stress, burnout, mental health and resilience, to release a brand new “Stress and Burnout Support” series.