Tom told me to date via a psychic, says Kelsey Parker as she reveals her new man has moved in & they hope to have kids

KELSEY Parker is unrecognisable from the girl who sat down with Fabulous just months after her husband The Wanted’s Tom Parker passed away from a brain tumour in March 2022, aged 33.

While the 34 year old, who is mum to Aurelia, five, and Bodhi, four, is facing another year grieving the loss of her partner, she’s trying to feel optimistic about the future.

In September, she revealed she was in a new relationship with tree surgeon Will Lindsay, 27, after posting a loved-up snap of the pair of them together.

“I’m just trying to move forward and live my life,” Kelsey admits.

“I think that’s really hard for people outside watching, but I have two young children. My focus is on them and giving them the best life. That’s what Tom would want for them.

“I was scared to put myself out there. I met Tom when I was 19 in a nightclub and I’d been with him for 13 years. I’ve never dated before, so I was so scared about how I might meet someone. I was thinking: ‘Do I have to go on a dating app?’”

She says: “I was out during Christmas 2023 with the girls and they were all saying: ‘You need to meet someone.’ We were in this little bar and we got talking to these guys, so my friend said: ‘She’s married, I’m married, she’s married and Kelsey’s a widow.’

“And the guy chatting to me literally just turned his back and walked off. I went: ‘Well, I didn’t kill him!’ But I felt like: ‘What’s the point? I can’t do this to myself.’ It is awkward, I get it.

“My nan and I became widows in the same year. It’s not normal. My nan is so strong, but I don’t think she will meet anyone else as she’s happy by herself. But I’m young and I didn’t want to be on my own forever.

“Then I met Will on a night out. We were both out with friends. He didn’t know who I was, and when I told him about Tom, he was so understanding. It didn’t freak him out.”

While Kelsey admitted she was terrified of the reaction from the public after she announced her new relationship, she felt it was the right thing to do, having had her late husband’s blessing and his family’s.

“When Tom passed away, his mum Noreen said: ‘Whatever you choose to do, I’ll support you.’ I’m so close to her and she really likes Will. We FaceTime all the time and she was down last week with Tom’s dad Nigel.”

And it’s not just Noreen who is supportive of her moving on. Kelsey believes Tom is too, after seeing a number of spiritualists following his death.

“I’m quite spiritual. I had been seeing spiritual people who told me that Tom was coming through, saying: ‘Get the wedding ring off as you’re blocking yourself, you need to move forward and meet someone.”

She’d tried dating in November 2022, with electrician Sean Boggans, before realising she wasn’t ready.

“I don’t really want to talk about [the relationship],” she says. “People judge me on that. My mum has said that if he had met today’s Kelsey, he wouldn’t have lasted three weeks, but I was so vulnerable back then.

“I wanted someone to love me because I thought I was never going to find love again. Tom was the only person who loved me and idolised me. He gave me so much confidence, so without him I got sucked into something.

“Friends and family were so supportive. But when my kids went to bed I was lonely.”

But Kelsey soon realised she needed to take time out.

“That’s why I split up with Sean. I hadn’t given myself time to do it on my own. I needed to realise that I’m strong and I am powerful. I think I carried so much to look after Tom when he was sick that I just wanted someone to come and look after me. But [Sean] wasn’t what I needed.

“Tom’s mum said: ‘Well, you had to learn your lesson, didn’t you? You had to do that.’ Everyone does grief differently and until you are in it, you don’t know.”

Thankfully, Kelsey has found the comfort she needs in Will and admits his experience with loss means he can relate to her kids more, too.

“He lost his dad when he was 21 and they were really close, so he can really understand what the kids are going through. Bodhi is such a mummy’s boy, but he likes being around men, too.

“It was weird before because I was having to be the mum and the dad, trying to bring a bit of rough and tumble. I was doing all the things Tom would have done, like watching football, but having Will brings that energy and fun Bodhi absolutely loves.”

Kelsey is mindful not to compare her relationship with her marriage.

“My time with Tom was the best 13 years of my life and nothing is ever going to compare, because of the stuff we got to experience together. But Will is so open about it.

“We talk about Tom and he isn’t weirded out at all. He’s so laid-back, although he has had the shock of his life coming into this world. He says he isn’t looking at anything that’s written about us.”

‘I wanted Tom to freeze his sperm, but he wouldn’t’

Will certainly seems like a keeper, and he’s now moved into the house that Kelsey previously shared with Tom.

“It’s not that quick – I haven’t given the time-frame for how long me and Will have been together.

“Tom and I moved into our house, and then seven months later, he got really sick. His bucket list was to have a big house. I feel like he wanted me to have somewhere for when he was gone. In his last days, he went to the hospice, and I think he thought: ‘I can’t die in this house for her as the memory would be too much.’”

Her home has become her sanctuary through these incredibly tough few years.

“I’ve decorated it and made it my own. When I do work on it I think he’d be so proud of me, but there are certain things of his that will always be there.

“His toothbrush is still in the downstairs bathroom and I’ve got his aftershaves. I have a wardrobe full of his clothes – there is no way I can get rid of them. I have his orange tracksuit I want to get made into teddy bears for the kids.

“My friend Gemma got me a voucher to have his ashes made into jewellery for me, Tom’s mum and the kids. I had to message them and ask: ‘Does this run out?’ because I can’t bring myself to do it. We’ve got a big picture of Tom upstairs and Will always says to me: ‘God, I’ve got a lot to compete with, because he’s a f**king handsome bloke.’ He doesn’t get jealous, though, and he is exactly what I need. I am really happy.”

Kelsey’s experience in the public eye means that she knows some will form their own opinion about her new life.

“I know people are going to judge me whatever I do, but I think what outweighs that are the people who are living this life that go on my socials and say: ‘Thank you for sharing your journey,’ because unless you’ve gone through losing a partner, you will not understand what it is like.

“I always say: ‘Walk a day in my shoes.’ They have no idea what I lived through for 18 months with Tom, something I am still processing now. Sometimes I can’t look at pictures of Tom because I find it hard. I think: ‘Why did this happen to us? Why did you leave us?’”

But Kelsey is determined to keep going.

“We just don’t know when our time is gonna come, so I know more than most we just have to enjoy the time we have.”

Kelsey’s love for Will has only deepened because of the way he is with her two kids.

“There is not a day that goes by that we don’t talk about Tom and obviously now Will’s there, too. Aurelia asked him: ‘Did you know my dad?’ And Will said no, but that he knew him from The Wanted.

“Then Aurelia said: ‘Well, your dad is dead and my dad is dead, too.’ We have a little laugh about it. It’s dark gallows humour to get us through. They call it the Dead Dads’ Club.”

‘Liam was such a good friend to us’

The mum of two is so smitten with Will that the pair have even discussed adding to the family with their own little ones.

“Will is not really bothered about getting married or anything like that,” she explains.

“But he hasn’t got children so he would like kids. I do think that could be on the cards for us. Tom and I spoke about having more kids because I wanted four. When he was first diagnosed, I wanted him to go and freeze his sperm, but he wouldn’t. I really wanted him to because I really believed he was going to get better.”

When you lose someone, every death afterwards reminds you of your loss. Kelsey admitted Liam Payne’s death last October upset her hugely.

“When someone dies now, I think of everyone else around them. Liam’s death really triggered me. I couldn’t stop thinking of his son Bear and Cheryl. Liam was such a good friend to me and Tom. He would check in on me and I would check in on him. He was just so kind.

“Obviously the boys did have that whole 1D versus The Wanted rivalry, but Tom and Liam were friends.

Liam was so shocked when Tom was diagnosed and I think it really hurt Liam.

He came and performed at the Inside My Head Stand Up 2 Cancer charity gig at the Royal Albert Hall and then came to Tom’s funeral.

“Afterwards, we always kept in contact. It’s just unbelievably sad. He was so young. It’s strange that both those bands are now missing members. I always thought One Direction would reunite, but I don’t think they will now.”

Liam’s death reminded Kelsey of how she and her family said goodbye to Tom.

“The kids were so young when he died that I didn’t take them to the funeral. I think we will have to process that at another time. We filmed his funeral for the kids, though. I didn’t want to, but my manager at the time said it’s something for the kids to watch when they are older to see how loved their dad was.”

‘I find empathy hard now, because I went through so much’

While two of Tom’s band mates, Max George and Siva Kaneswaran, have formed The Wanted 2.0 without Jay McGuinness, Kelsey thinks the band will never be the same now that her husband’s gone.

“Jay is so cut up about it still,” she explains. “He will never be able to sing the songs. He says: ‘I’ve lost my brother.’ He always checks in and makes sure we’re all OK. I really appreciate that.”

Kelsey knows it looks as if her life is back on track, but she’s keen to emphasise that Tom will always be part of her life.

“I just don’t think people can even understand. They probably look from the outside and think: ‘Oh well, she’s got a new boyfriend.’ But having Will will never take away from what I had with Tom and what my future would have been like.

“I’ve had to try to move on and take steps towards a life that I didn’t think was going to be mine. I had everything and it got ripped away from me and the kids. My grief remains the same, I am just learning to live around it, but Tom will always be a part of our lives. We will never forget him.

“I’m not the Kelsey Parker you would have met five years ago. I find empathy hard now, because I went through so much that when people moan about tiny things, I think: ‘Why are you complaining? You have it all.’ I thought I had it all. My friends feel bad if they slag off their husbands, but I guess you’ve got to get it out – it’s hard.

“Looking forward to this year, I just live each day. That’s so clichéd, but it’s overwhelming to think ahead. I just hope to be healthy and happy and I think, with what we’ve been through, that is all you can wish for.”

•  Kelsey Parker: With And Without You by Kelsey Parker (£20, Mirror Books) is out now.