'My Mother-In-Law Insulted My WFH Job. Was My Response Unfair?'

Though Stanford economist Nicholas Bloom says that working from home is a “win-win” in the workplace, making employees both happier and about 13% more productive, not everyone agrees. 

JP Morgan boss Jamie Dimon, for instance, reportedly told his staff they were “wasting their time” attempting to vote against his “back-to-office” decree. He’s far from alone. 

According to Redditor Physical_Plant_3056, her mother-in-law isn’t exactly a fan of her work-from-home gig, either. 

Writing to r/AITAH (Am I The Asshole Here), the original poster (OP) asked: “AITAH for embarrassing my MIL in front of guests after she implied I don’t do ‘real work’?” 

So, we spoke to Thomas Roulet, Fellow and Director of Studies in Psychology & Behavioural Science at King’s College, Cambridge, and employment lawyer Eric Kinsley, partner at Kinsley Sazmet, about how to handle the situation.

OP is a software developer

The poster said that she’s a software developer; her mother-in-law “has never understood or respected” the fact that hers is a remote position. 

She regularly makes comments like “Oh, must be nice to sit in pyjamas all day,” and “Back in my day, we actually had to commute to work,” OP wrote. 

At a recent family barbecue, the woman claimed, a guest asked her what she does for a living. Before she could answer, her mother-in-law said: “She watches Netflix and calls it coding.” 

The developer responded: “Yeah, and that ‘Netflix’ paid off your son’s student loans and bought this house.”

Her mother-in-law is now upset with her, and her husband says she should have handled the situation more considerately too.

“In-laws may hold a lot of prejudice about WFH”

Roulet tells HuffPost UK that “prejudice” about working from home is common, including the belief that those who work remotely are “lazy.” 

But, he says, given that 13% of workers in the UK fall into that category and a third are hybrid, “This is the new reality of work and WFH often means longer hours.

“The only way to address prejudice is to nip in the bud: if firms are ready to hire hybrid workers and pay them, it is because it makes sense to them,” he advises. 

Kinsley, meanwhile, says that in this case, the poster’s husband could have spoken up on her behalf. 

“It is completely reasonable to expect your partner to stand up for the merit of your work,” he says. 

“Should they consistently refuse to do so, then it is an indicator in itself – not so much about how you stand with his family as about how much your partner respects your professional identity.” 

Still, he says, healing between both the mother-in-law and OP’s partner is possible. 

“Open, honest conversations and clear boundaries can help reset expectations. But healing also requires consistency from your partner in standing up for you. Without that, the tension is likely to continue,” he shares.