I Must Come Clean: I Have Trump Derangement Syndrome
The symptoms of TDS include loathing Trump b/c he deported your sister, told your wife at her government job on a Friday at 4:45 pm not to come in next week—or ever again—has more spasms on tariffs than during a Shark Week he spent with Stormy, and has bankrupted more small businesses than heart disease.
Other symptoms: despising Trump for being a cerebrally perforated ass-monger who screams at female reporters for asking basic questions. Knowing he fills his diaper faster than SNAP funds for starving children, calling U.S soldiers killed in war “suckers & losers,” and thinking stealth fighters are invisible, like Wonder Woman’s fucking plane.
You may also fall into TDS if you dislike adjudicated rapists, Jan 6 insurrectionists, Putin-suckling seditionists, and golden-showering onanists. TDS can be inflamed by hearing un-sweater’d, White Bill Cosby brag about sleeping w/ “friends’ wives,” and making the Oval Office look like it was decorated by Pizarro.
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