ADHD Can Make Your Child's Bedtime A Challenge, But These Tweaks Can Help

Parenting a child with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) can be wonderful, although parents often share that it’s not without its challenges.

One particularly exhausting element can be the process of bedtime – that is, helping children wind down for the evening and, ultimately, go to sleep. 

Research suggests up to 50-70% of children with ADHD have sleep problems, with delayed sleep onset and bedtime resistance particularly common issues.

“Children with ADHD often have busy minds and bodies, which can make bedtime a real challenge,” sleep consultant Rosey Davidson told HuffPost UK. 

Part of this is biological. Some research suggests kids with ADHD release melatonin – the hormone that signals it is time to sleep – around 45 minutes later than neurotypical children. As they get older, this can stretch to nearer 90 minutes.

“This means their natural sleepiness signal comes later, which is one of the reasons they may struggle to fall asleep at the same time as other kids,” said Davidson.

But just because a child has ADHD, it doesn’t mean there’s nothing you can do to help support them to sleep better.

As Emily Whalley, a holistic sleep and wellbeing coach at Fox and the Moon, told HuffPost UK: “We have to work with our children and their individual needs, not against them.

“And just because a child has ADHD, it doesn’t mean the way sleep works no longer applies to them. Biology doesn’t switch off because of neurodivergence.

“The fundamentals of sleep – i.e. circadian rhythm, sleep pressure and nervous system regulation – still matter. In fact, for many children with ADHD, they matter even more.”

So, sometimes going back to basics can really help.

How parents can support children with ADHD to sleep better

1. Keep bedtime consistent

A consistent bedtime routine is crucial for all – old and young, neurotypical and neurodiverse – as brains like the safety of knowing what is coming next.

“Consistent rituals such as a bath, a story, or calm music, signal it is time to wind down,” says Davidson, who is the founder and CEO of Just Chill Mama.

While the routine is important, it’s also crucial to recognise that you might be starting proceedings a bit too early – so take a step back and reassess the actual time your child goes to bed.

As Whalley asks: “Is the child’s body clock running later? Is bedtime actually mismatched to their natural sleep drive?”

She continues: “If a child simply isn’t tired enough at 8pm, no amount of consequences will fix that, we’re working against physiology.”

2. Focus on light

Getting outside in natural light is so important during the day, as it helps regulate the internal body clock (“it’s like putting in your order for sleepiness at night,” notes Davidson).

As evening arrives, dimming the lights helps to support melatonin production, making it easier to drift off. 

3. Consider nervous system input earlier in the day

“Many children with ADHD are sensory-seeking and need intentional proprioceptive input, what I often call ‘heavy work’, in the late afternoon or early evening,” says Whalley.

Some examples of this “heavy work” might include: 

• Rough and tumble play,
• Pushing and pulling games,
• Carrying shopping,
• Animal walks,
• Resistance exercises 
• Deep pressure input.

The sleep expert suggests all of these can help regulate the nervous system before we expect stillness. “Sleep doesn’t begin at lights out, it begins one to two hours earlier, with how we prepare the body and brain,” she notes. 

Davidson agrees that providing opportunities for movement, deep pressure, or sensory activities earlier in the day can help kids feel regulated and calmer in the evening. 

“Research also shows that children with ADHD who are more physically active tend to fall asleep more easily and sleep better overall, so getting out for exercise, or even movement within the home is helpful,” notes the sleep consultant.

“Yoga is excellent as it helps both the mind and body to wind down.”

4. Try quiet, focused activities before bed

Slow, quiet activities like colouring, jigsaws, or listening to an audiobook can all help your child’s mind transition from alert to calm in the hour or so before bed.

“Listening to music or audiobooks can also help the mind switch off racing thoughts,” notes Davidson.

5. Let them offload their worries

If your child is a bit older, writing down their worries or ideas (journalling) before bed can help offload any thoughts that might keep them awake. If they’re a bit younger, drawing pictures and/or discussing their day could also help.

“Children (and adults) with ADHD often ruminate over their day, and struggle to switch off,” says Davidson.

“This is why techniques around managing thoughts and feelings can be helpful.”

The expert noted that for older children and adults, CBT-i (cognitive behavioural therapy for insomnia), which is about changing a person’s thoughts and feelings around sleep, can also be effective. 

6. Gently help kids back to bed

You’ll probably notice your child comes downstairs multiple times before they eventually fall asleep, which might mean the slim period of downtime you get before your own bedtime is pretty disrupted.

Davidson says for kids who get up repeatedly; gentle, consistent responses work best.

“Consider social stories, roleplaying in the daytime (putting teddies to bed and saying goodnight), and making it [their bedroom] an appealing space,” she said. 

“You can also foster ideas around connection – so that they know you will always come back. I like to put up a photo of parents on the wall next to the child’s bed so they have a visual reminder they are always connected.”

Another option to try is a “bedtime pass system”, where your child has one or two “get out of bed” passes each night.

“This gives them a sense of control while still keeping the overall structure and boundaries around sleep,” says the sleep consultant.

“If they do get out of bed, quietly returning them without negotiation is more effective than long explanations or arguments. We can still be loving and responsive but hold the boundary that this is where they sleep.”

6. Consider their sleep quality

Once they do finally settle, Whalley advises considering their sleep quality as children with ADHD are more likely to mouth breathe, snore or experience sleep-disordered breathing, “and fragmented sleep can significantly worsen attention, mood and behaviour during the day”.

“If a child is snoring most nights, breathing through their mouth, grinding their teeth or waking unrefreshed, it’s important this is medically reviewed,” she adds.

“Sometimes what looks like behavioural insomnia is actually poor-quality sleep.”

A note for parents struggling with the long evenings

If your evening downtime is fairly non-existent, you might be left feeling pretty exhausted and like you have absolutely zero chill once you’ve taken your child back up to bed for the sixth time. 

Whalley wants you to know you are not failing. Equally, it’s not your child’s fault they are struggling to drift off. “These children are not difficult, they are neurologically wired differently,” says the sleep coach.

But the right adjustments, as well as small biological and sensory tweaks can make “meaningful differences”, she adds. “Progress may not look identical to a neurotypical pathway, but it is absolutely possible.

“ADHD explains sleep challenges, it doesn’t mean they’re untreatable.”

Davidson urges parents to also role model their own healthy behaviours around sleep by talking about how they prioritise it and why, as well as showing their child how they relax and unwind (for example, switching off screens a set amount of time before bed or reading a book).

“Children learn so much by imitation,” she says. “Remember that helping your child sleep is a marathon, not a sprint, and being kind to yourself is just as important as helping them rest.”