Just when you thought Intel's branding couldn't get any worse, a report says the company plans to outsource marketing to a consultancy using AI

The Intel Core Ultra 9 285K. Just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it, immediately and intuitively communicating the varied and undeniable virtues of Intel's latest top-rung PC processor. Well, perhaps not for much longer. According to a report on Oregon Live, Intel is about to defenestrate an undisclosed number of marketing employees in favour of retaining the consultancy firm Accenture, which apparently plans to use AI to generate Intel's marketing.

Whether these purported lay offs are part of Intel's previously stated plans to trim staff, or if this latest cull means that the company is shrinking its head count even further, isn't clear.

"The transition of our marketing and operations functions will result in significant changes to team structures, including potential headcount reductions, with only lean teams remaining," Intel told employees in a notice describing its plans. The Oregonian/OregonLive reviewed a copy of the material," Intel said in a memo to staff, according to Oregon Live.

Intel hasn't said exactly how many jobs will be lost. But the company did signal that Accenture's use of AI was a key motivating factor in outsourcing some marketing activities.

"We are partnering with Accenture to leverage AI-driven technologies with the goals of moving faster, simplifying processes and reflecting best practices, while also managing our spending,” Intel reportedly said, adding, "AI can help us analyze large amounts of information faster, automate routine tasks, personalize customer experiences, and make smarter business decisions."

This is all said to be in response to a perception that Intel has become too sluggish and dim-witted. "We have received feedback that our decision-making is too slow, our programs are too complex, and our competitors are moving faster," the note to Intel employees said.

To add insult to injury, it's claimed some existing Intel staff will be asked to train their replacements at Accenture before departure.

Just for a bit of fun, and perhaps as a sneak peek into what we might expect in future from Intel, I asked DeepSeek to rebrand Intel's current desktop PC processor product, the aforementioned 285K.

Its top suggestion? The Intel Titan X. "Why? 'Titan' suggests unmatched strength and dominance, while 'X' implies extreme performance. Clean, bold, and instantly recognisable (without being overused like "Ultra")," DeepSeek said, immediately throwing shade on Intel's existing branding.

Oh well, whatever Accenture and its silicon servants come up with, it probably won't be any worse than the baffling alphanumeric mashups that currently pass for processor product names at Intel.