Lily Allen Isn’t Loving Cowboy Carter

Today in one-sided celebrity-beef news, Lily Allen had some things to say about Beyoncé going country. On the latest episode of the Miss Me? podcast (yes, Lily Allen has a podcast), the British singer questioned some of Beyoncé’s choices on Cowboy Carter and the “calculated” nature of the album’s rollout. If you are interested in preserving your own peace, turn away now.

Allen’s co-host, Miquita Oliver, started the conversation by saying she didn’t think Beyoncé’s interpretation of “Jolene” was good, her reasoning being that “it just felt a little bit like a kind of standard hip-hop beat under a ‘Jolene’ cover.” Already, it’s clear that we’re not exactly dealing with serious listeners, but let’s soldier on.

“Yeah, I just feel like it’s quite an interesting thing to do when you’re, like, trying to tackle a new genre and you just choose the biggest song in that genre to cover,” Allen said. “I mean, you do you, Beyoncé, and she literally is doing her. Or is she doing Dolly?”

I’ll be so real with you guys: I don’t even ride for the “Jolene” cover like that — I prefer “Blackbiird” — but Allen’s argument does not hold up. What did she want her to do? Cover a Waylon Jennings B-side? This is a woman who released an entire album about her husband cheating on her, so of course she’s going to cover America’s No. 1 cheating song.

“I think it’s been quite calculated,” Allen continued. “I feel like when Jay-Z got up at the Grammys, that was part of this campaign. It was before the album had come out or even been announced, and she was wearing the blonde wig and a cowboy hat.” Beyoncé is a billion-dollar industry and a Virgo — of course she had a multistage plan to roll out her album. Based on the tenor of this conversation, you’d think that Allen hadn’t been a professional musician for almost 20 years.

The funniest part of listening to this podcast episode (which I cannot in good conscience recommend) is the reveal that Allen is currently in Nashville working on an album. “I’m not trying to conquer the country market,” Allen said. “I’m here because I love country music and always have loved country music. Not saying Beyoncé doesn’t, but I tell stories in my music, and that’s what country music is.” Finally, a British woman explaining what country music is on a podcast — that’s what we all really needed.