I found out my man was cheating a day after I had our baby – he’d been sleeping with the neighbour for two years
ACTRESS Emma Thompson has said that she was totally unaware when her now ex-husband Kenneth Branagh had an affair with Helena Bonham Carter, 56.
The 63-year-old Love Actually star, now happily married to Sense And Sensibility actor Greg Wise, 56, said in a New Yorker magazine interview: “I was utterly, utterly blind to the fact that he had relationships with other women on set.
“What I learned was how easy it is to be blinded by your own desire to deceive yourself.”
Here we ask two women whose partners cheated: Can you ever be truly blind to infidelity?
YES, says mum-of-one, Claire, 35
SOCIAL media manager Claire Barnes Northcott is from Newton Abbott, Devon.
The mum-of-one, who is now in a new relationship, says:
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“THE day after I gave birth to our first child Mickayley was the day I found out my fiancé was having an affair and had been for more than two years – the whole time we had been together.
It was completely out of the blue. I thought my relationship with Leury, 37, was wonderful.
We were engaged, the wedding was just a few months away and we were planning an entire life together.
Leury was so romantic that I didn’t have a clue he did anything but adore me.
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I thought we had a fairytale relationship.
When I found out he’d been having an affair with his neighbour for months I couldn’t have been more shocked.
I did not see it coming at all. I met Leury in March 2017 when I went on holiday to the Dominican Republic for a friend’s wedding.
He lives there and was working as a diving instructor, and we started dating.
We stayed in touch on my return home and fell in love, and soon I was travelling backwards and forwards to the Caribbean Island.
A year after the initial meeting, he planned a surprise romantic proposal, with the help of two of my best friends.
I said yes and we booked the wedding for a year later on the island and decided I’d move there straight after.
Just a few weeks after he slipped a ring on my finger, I found out I was pregnant.
We agreed I would stay in the UK for the baby to be born, so I could be near family, then move to the Caribbean for our dream wedding and new life together.
It was so exciting. We were messaging and chatting daily.
I asked Leury, expecting him to be shocked at her lies, but he admitted cheating.
Claire Barnes Northcott
He seemed devoted and we were never out of touch.
I felt I knew where he was at every minute of the day – we were closer than any couple I knew.
I handed in my notice at work, gave away my possessions and rented out my house so I could move into Leury’s home.
When I gave birth to our daughter Mickayley, Leury saw her straight afterwards on a video call and was as in love with her as I was. He told me he loved me and was so proud of me.
But the next day my perfect life was shattered, as one of Leury’s neighbours in the Dominican Republic messaged me on Facebook, with half-naked photos of her with Leury.
She said she had been sleeping with him the whole time we’d been together – but she hadn’t wanted to tell me until after the baby was born.
I asked Leury, expecting him to be shocked at her lies, but he admitted cheating.
Like Emma Thompson said, maybe it is easy to be blinded when you desire to deceive yourself – as I could never imagine in my wildest dreams that he could do this. I trusted him completely.
We were video-calling and messaging several times a day. He always told me he had nothing to hide.
He had even told me to look at his messages and social media whenever I wanted – but he hadn’t needed to use his phone as this woman was right next door to him.
I cancelled the wedding and am now single.
I am focussing on rebuilding my life, with my friends and family supporting me along the way.
He fooled me, my family and my friends.”
NO, says mother-of-two Rebecca, 37
Rebecca Jane is a chief executive for a mental health service who lives in Clitheroe, Lancs, with her kids Peaches, nine, and Paris, 16.
She says: “There’s nothing stronger than female intuition – and I think women always know when their partner is cheating.
I have been cheated on more times than I can count, and in every situation my gut was always perfectly spot on.
I’d talk myself out of the doubts and I’d convince myself it was just ‘my trust issues’ rearing their head again.
But every time I thought a partner was unfaithful, I was right.
I went to the extremes, and then some, to find out if my partners were being unfaithful.
I looked into private investigators, I roped in my friends.
We snooped, spied and eventually created a detective agency called The Real Lady Detective out of my misery.
We were female run, because the intuition a woman naturally holds is entirely priceless. It simply can’t be taught.
We need to hold faith in ourselves and operate from our hearts – it will always lead to the truth.
I’ve had two ex-partners who have had affairs.
My first was exceptionally unfaithful, I knew about six affairs he had.
I mean, if you’re going to do something, at least do it right . . . and he did it really right.
But it wasn’t something my gut could not catch on to.
There’s nothing stronger than female intuition – and I think women always know when their partner is cheating.
Rebecca Jane
He would vanish at the weekend, his phone would go off, he wouldn’t return my calls, lots of money went missing, he was entirely distant, like he hated me constantly.
So I got my friends to investigate and follow him whenever he went out.
He never admitted to it. Even when we literally caught him kissing another girl, he told me I was crazy and I was doubting what I saw.
In the end, I stopped looking and just knew he was unfaithful. I didn’t want to know the truth any more, so we split.
The second partner did it with one of my best friends. Luckily, I can now look back and laugh.
But at the time my heart shattered into a thousand pieces and for months after, I never thought I would recover. I was broken.
It turned out they had been having an affair for a few months.
He’d been attempting to throw me off the scent by calling her names, avoiding us going out in a group and vanishing at random times.
When I saw it with my own eyes, all the jigsaw pieces fell into place. It was difficult to move on from both of those times.
What made my gut wrench was me doubting my sanity when I knew something was wrong. That feeling of going insane is the worst.
The effects of that, and other incidents, changed every fibre of my soul. I was never the same again, and I never will be.
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I’ve learnt a lot of lessons from that experience, but the biggest lesson I’ve learnt every single time I’ve found myself uncovering another unfaithful partner is: trust your gut.
Women always know – some may subconsciously choose to ignore it.”