How one TikTok video started a movement to support LGBTQ couples on their wedding day

She had a simple courthouse wedding in Missouri but Tracy Dieleman says it was the happiest day of her life thanks to a stranger from another state. 

Dieleman, whose parents died many years ago and whose sister couldn’t attend the wedding from out-of-town, turned to a Facebook group that’s become a lifeline for the LGBTQ community. 

"I've never had the support like I have now," said Dieleman.

The social media group, created by Tennessee hairstylist Daniel Blevins, connects LGBTQ couples who don’t have family support with people willing to be “stand-in parents” for major life events such as weddings.  

Blevins posted a video on Tiktok last year offering to be a stand-in dad at same-sex weddings.

"There was such a huge response to that video, of people needing that help and people offering to do the same thing," said Blevins. "So I decided Facebook would be the place because we could make a private group which would be a safe place for people who aren't out, to find that support as well."

Blevins says he put the call out because even though his own parents were supportive, he didn’t have any role models to help guide his journey when he was younger.  

“I didn't think that there was an option for me to be gay because there was no representation," said Blevins. “So that has motivated me as I've gotten older to sort of be that representation for younger people in my community and in the world.” 

His message sparked a movement. The “Tiktok Stand In Families” Facebook group now has more than 35,000 members from dozens of countries and all 50 U.S. states. 

Blevins says it’s blossomed into a unique LGBTQ support group. He gives the example of an individual who was homeless and found a safe place to stay after the network organized a “transport chain” to get her from Tennessee to Texas where her family lives. 

“That took five drivers, 11 hours, and it was a pretty miraculous thing to see how all of these people were willing to give up a few hours on their Sunday to help this person in need,” said Blevins. 

So when Dieleman posted a message about her upcoming wedding in Columbus, Mo., it didn’t take long to get a response. Amy Brinsfield, a mother-of-four, reached out from Arkansas. 

"I asked her if she would be willing for me to come to her wedding, if she was okay with that. And she said, ‘yes’, she would love it,” said Brinsfield.

Brinsfield also volunteered to prepare bouquets for the two women and arranged to make the four-hour trip across state lines.

“I took the day off from work. I drove up the night before, got a hotel. It was not a big deal at all. Like she needed somebody, you know? I was able to be there.” 

Only it was a big deal to Dieleman, who says her late father never accepted her identity. She says he never kicked her out of the house, but there were days when the treatment was unbearable.

"He never let me live it down," said Dieleman. "He would always constantly berate me and tell me how much I was not his daughter."

While the pain of that rejection stays with her, Dieleman says finding encouragement from elsewhere can help fill the void.

“The minute (Amy) showed up, I was like, ‘Oh yes, finally, I actually have some support around here, you know?” said Dieleman.

Brinsfield says she reached out for a simple reason: she didn't want Dieleman to feel alone.

"I hate the thought that somebody has something big happen in their life and they don't have any family there to support them," said Brinsfield. "I just believe that we should all support each other and be there for other people when we can. And this was something that I could do, and I know it made her feel good. But I also got something out of it too."

Brinsfield says she got a lasting friendship out of it and refers to the couple as her "daughters."

For those struggling with their own identities, Dieleman added: “You can't help who you love. You are who you are, regardless of what anybody says. And there is support out there. You might not have it now, but you will have it soon.” 

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: LGBTQ couple gets 'stand in' support on wedding day